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Highly Commended
Kirsty Keron
Queensferry High School
Loneliness
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'There she is, soppy Abby.'
'Look, she's almost crying.'
'I would too if I looked like her.'
'Little baby pigtails and stupid baby clothes.'
'And Mumsie won't let her wear make-up.'
'Oh, I forgot, Mumsie is pathetic, always ill, I'll bet she still thinks Abby Wabby is five years old.'
'And Daddy?'
'Daddy left a long time ago, probably found a less pathetic family!'
'Oh look, she's trying to ignore us.'
'Putting on a brave little face.'
'But nobody ignores me!'
They stepped right in front of me, barring the pavement and leaving no space between the school wall and the bus stop. I tried to backtrack and go round the other side of the bus stop, but a bus had just pulled up and by the time I got round they would have caught me. I looked up at Kathy, pleadingly, trying to make her feel guilty, but she just nudged Sephy and laughed.
'Look, she's trying to plead with us.'
'Make us feel guilty.'
Kathy sniggered and looked down on me, a sinister smile on her face.
'Like I'm ever going to be friends with her again!'
'Can't believe you ever were!'
The words felt like daggers in my heart. I took a deep breath, trying to gather the strength to push past them, but it just wouldn't come, I still felt the same wimpy Abby, meek and mild, never able to stand up for myself.
'Let me past,' I muttered.
'What's that?' Kathy said, cocking her head and putting her hand to her ear.
'Must have been a mouse.'
'Yeah, a stinky one!'
They both burst into peals of laughter.
'Tell you what,' Sephy said, 'mice don't eat much so if you give us your lunch money we'll let you past.'
I thought about it. At that moment I would have done anything for some peace and quiet and I don't eat much anyway. I fumbled in my bag to find my purse, and as I opened it to get out the pound Mum had given me, Sephy snatched the purse out of my hand.
'This'll do fine,' she said, extracting a five pound note.
'You can't have that - my Gran gave it to me for my birthday!' I exclaimed. I was saving to buy myself a decent art set.
'Oh well now you've given it to us,' Sephy sneered, throwing my purse back as I walked past. My face was burning and I could feel tears pricking at the back of my eyes.
'Late again, Miss Pherson!'
'But?'
'No buts, what have I told you about latecomers?'
'They're not tolerated.'
'Don't mutter at me girl, what have I told you about latecomers?'
'They're not tolerated.'
'Right, now go and sit down.'
I walked up to my desk, my face was on fire. I seemed to be blushing a lot lately, like there was a heater under my skin that I switched on every time I became embarrassed. It was so annoying.
'Ouch!'
Sephy had stuck her foot out and a second later I tripped up, like some sort of stupid puppet that was wired to Sephy's brain.
'What now, Ms Pherson!'
'But Miss Gillon?' I squeaked.
'In fact, I don't want to hear another one of your pathetic excuses, you can see me after school.' She sounded really serious this time.
As I sat down I could hear Kathy and Sephy sniggering beside me. Kathy had been my best friend once. We'd go to each other's houses every day and we'd hang around together in the playground. It was so much fun. Then, in Primary Six, Sephy came on to the scene. Persephone Goodfellow, richest girl in the school and international snob of the century. I can't get away from her. Her Dad is big in Parliament and her Mum stars in all the West End shows. Why they moved up to Queensferry I have no idea. They live in a big Victorian house on the edge of town, and Sephy gets a taxi in every day as if her legs are too precious to use.
As I was daydreaming, the teacher had crept up on me, and the fact that I had done no work was not helping my situation.
'Forget after school. I want to see you at lunch for a detention, Miss Pherson,' she muttered in my ear. She thought she was being ultra discreet but the whole class heard what she said.
'Yes, Miss Gillon,' I whispered, trying to keep the sob from my voice.
'And start working!'
I picked up my pen and looked down at the questions, but the words just seemed to wriggle about on the page. There was a lump growing in my throat and I could feel tears of frustration welling up in my eyes. Why did nothing ever go right for me?
The bell rang for the end of lunch, just as I was finishing my meal. Miss Gillon had kept me in twenty minutes after lunch started, so my meal had consisted of soggy sandwiches and a limp salad, then custard with a thick skin on top. I grimaced as I chucked what was left in the bin. At least I had been left with my lunch money. I was still feeling sick as I walked into the classroom. Whether this was to do with lunch or Kathy and Sephy I didn't know.
Kathy and Sephy flashed me sneering smiles as I wandered into the classroom, and Miss Gillon didn't even look up. We had maths next. Most people in my class don't like maths but I love it. It's so easy just to lose myself in the numbers and it is the one subject that doesn't have Miss Gillon hanging over me in despair. I worked through all the questions and was sat checking my answers when I heard what sounded like my name and a load of giggles. Kathy and Sephy were whispering under their breath and I was sure that it was about me. I felt something touching my foot. Bending down to pick it up I saw it was a scrunched up piece of paper. As I tried to open it up, Miss Gillon loomed beside me.
'What's this, Miss Pherson?' She snatched the piece of paper out of my hand and unscrewed it.
'These questions are supposed to be mental.'
'Huh? what?' I was confused. What was she on about? Miss Gillon showed me the piece of paper.
'These questions are supposed to be mental. You have been working them out on paper.'
'But? I didn't? I mean.'
'Don't even try to make excuses. This is in your handwriting, and I found it in your hand. See me after class!'
She was right. I stared at the piece of paper. It was covered with workings-out in a clear round hand just like my own. My head hurt and I felt dizzy as I tried to work it out but it just didn't make sense. It had to be Kathy and Sephy - but how?
'Lovey, there's someone here who would like to meet you,' Mum called out when I was barely in the door. I knew exactly what this was about. Mum thought I didn't know but it was sickeningly obvious. The way she'd been acting recently, so nice, she'd even bought me a new top and my mum doesn't buy me clothes for no reason.
My mum had a boyfriend. There they were, sitting on the sofa, arms around each other like it was the most natural thing in the world. I felt so sick. I sat down tentatively on the edge of the sofa. It wasn't as if I didn't already know. He lived just down the road and she had been visiting for some reason or another for months.
I decided that since she was in a good mood, it would be the best time to broach the subject of Kathy and Sephy.
'Mum, can I talk to you?'
'Of course, darling.' She actually sounded interested; normally all I got was a grunt or a moan. I stood up and headed towards the door.
'Where are you going, darling? I thought you wanted to talk to me.'
'I thought? I mean? can't we talk outside?'
'You can say whatever you want in front of Ben.'
So that was his name. Ben. And all of a sudden he was part of the family.
'Please, Mum.'
'No, Abby. Ben is my friend and I'm not sending him out of the room just for you.'
'I knew you wouldn't!' I was shouting now. 'You don't care about me, all you care about is yourself and your precious boyfriend. I hate you! Why do you always have to be so selfish?'
At this, I ran upstairs, making as much noise as possible, and slamming my door behind me. I was sobbing as I hurled myself on the bed. Why did nothing ever go right for me? I hated myself, I hated my Mum and I especially hated Kathy, Sephy and Ben. They were the reason that my friends, and even my Mum, had deserted me.
Later, much later, I heard the front door close, and my Mum called me down for my tea but I pretended not to hear. I pulled on my pyjamas and climbed into bed, my stomach grumbling with hunger, but obstinacy ruled on this one. I wasn't going to show any weakness or Mum would think she had won. Mum came up at about eight o'clock but I pretended to be asleep and completely ignored her. She was not going to win this one.
I slammed out of the house at eight o'clock the next morning, even though I didn't need to be at school until nine o'clock and it was just around the corner. I wandered around and by some strange miracle, managed to avoid Kathy and Sephy. Sitting on the wall, I thought about how Kathy and I used to be friends. We'd sit on that exact piece of wall and chat about everything. We never had any secrets. Now I seriously regretted telling her things. Like the fact that my Dad left when I was two and my Mum suffered from depression. I had given her all the tools she needed to taunt me and now she had told all my secrets to Sephy.
As I was thinking this, I saw something out of the corner of my eye that made me gasp. It was Kathy and Sephy, but they weren't coming towards me. They were taunting some girl I had never seen before. It filled me with rage that they could do that. Just turn on her because she was new. I nearly went right there and then to give them a piece of my mind, but the courage didn't come. Instead I headed into class so I could be on time and not get a tongue-lashing from Miss Gillon. She barely looked up anyway when I crept in.
The rest of the class filed in as the bell rang and about five minutes later there was a knock on the door and Miss Branby from the office came in slowly, followed by the girl Kathy and Sephy had been taunting.
'This is Melissa Mondie, and she has been allocated to your class,' she said in that low voice teachers don't think you can hear.
'Come in Melissa,' Miss Gillon said, looking up from her marking. The poor girl looked half terrified as she saw Kathy and Sephy leering at her. I knew exactly how she felt; that was how I felt every morning when I walked into the class.
'Go and sit over beside Abigail,' Miss Gillon said, indicating the spare seat beside me. 'I'm sure she'll look after you,' she added, giving me one of those looks that meant that if I didn't, I would be in big trouble. Melissa looked absolutely mortified when she saw who I was sitting beside, but I gave her a reassuring smile.
'Don't worry - they bully me too,' I whispered under my breath.
'What? how did you know?'
'I'm not stupid. The leering smiles, the way you were looking at them, it's so obvious.'
She smiled and sat down.
'Oi, you two at the back, stop talking!'
We both almost burst out laughing at this outburst. Putting our hands over our mouths, we started to work.
Melissa had gone home for lunch so I was making my way out to the playground as slowly as possible. The bell was about to go when I heard a commotion around the corner. It was Sephy and Kathy.
'So you and Abby Wabby think you can talk about us?'
'Don't even try and escape?'
'Nobody is going to help you.'
'Especially not that baby, Abigail.'
At that last comment I was incensed with rage. They couldn't talk about me like that, and they especially couldn't treat Melissa like that. I absolutely hated them.
'Why don't you pick on someone your own size?' My voice sounded loud in that hall. 'You think you can just bully and taunt, but it's not true. Bullies are just stupid weak people who hide behind stupidity, and me and Melissa are friends because we want to be and not because there's nobody else!' I took a breath and directed my last bit at Kathy. 'And as for you, Katherine Williams, if you think I'll ever want to be friends with you again, you'll have another think coming.'
I stopped for a moment to gather my thoughts. Helping Melissa up, I heard a hissed whisper.
'We'll get you later!'
But I wasn't scared; I turned my back on Kathy and Sephy and walked away with Melissa.
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